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THE JOURNEY
of how far we came, in words of mine.

It was all in His plans for me to study in Sydney. Now that I'm here, it's up to me to shine His light.

FLIGHT 818 .




unspoken .





credits .

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FLY AWAY TO SYD
on the journey to Sydney.

4 years in Sydney is an awefully long time.
Catch me before I fly away, cause I'm having the time of my life.
Friends come and go, but the close ones never part irregardless of the distance.


Friday, June 26, 2009
01:24

I was my birthday.
But instead of growing wiser, I screwed up once again.
Badly.
It was my fault, definitely.
Maybe on both counts.

I don't know how to live this life anymore.
Pleasing one or the other results in hurting the another.
Birthdays are meant to be a happy thing.
Am I supposed to learn something from all these?
Perhaps change my way of life?
My perception to things?
My insensibility and my couldn't-care-less attitude?

My birthday wishes this year are simple.
1) I really want everyone close around me to be happy. Like happy happiness.
2) My housing contract to be settled with extra favours from God.
3) Perhaps someone significant in my life. I think I'm ready for it. Who knows.

There are many things that I can wish for, but right now- This is all that I want. Simple, with no frills.

-

Anyway, I celebrated my 21st with a Sky dive. Sick.
The fact that I'm typing here now means that I'm alive. Haha.
It's not as scary as I thought it would be.
In fact, I reckon the 40-storey giant drop to be even scarier than this. Maybe its just me. Who knows. I'm going to zonk out now and reflect on my behaviour the past few days and past year.


Thursday, June 18, 2009
01:16

The effort is just not good enough

It just feels inadequate.
It's not the best.

Running, hiding, avoiding are not options one should take in life.
They should not even consider such real options.
Just be true to yourself and others.

Emo-kid is back.

x


Monday, June 15, 2009
20:11

I think it went well

Left my exam 30min earlier yesterday. Left my exam 20min earlier the other day.

I have a few theories on why I'm behaving this way:
1) I'm absolutely brilliant
2) I cannot be bothered with exams
3) Exams no longer excite me
4) I have no interest in whatever I'm doing

I know I'll do a credit, but I don't think such behaviour warrants me a distinction. Sigh. I did pour out everything I knew, just not sure if its enough.

--

Had enough of a rest yesterday. Lazied around the whole day, just refusing to start work. Just had breakfast, and I'm going to wash up and leave the house soon.

Stumbled upon this blog that has this guide on surviving in SNGS. I applaud those person for trying to make SN a more accessible place. But it's just hilarious how much clues you decide to drop, whilst not revealing your identity. SN is not that big, ya know. It's so easy to find out who you are, speaking from experience. Anyhows, here's the blog. http://www.ultimategenuineguide.blogspot.com/
It was really entertaining to me.

x


00:01

I flipped opened the Bible today

The words "He who is angry with a brother or a sister is guilty of murder" stood out to me. I am unable to turn away from the facts. Many other things stood out to me too. I guess its time for me to correct it and live right again.

--

On a cheery note.

I'm intending to get a Croquembouche as my birthday cake! Going to cost a bit and its not filling! But I really want it! Once in a lifetime. Haha. Excited.

--

Accounting exam tomorrow. Feeling much more confident than I did yesterday. I guess I can say I'm prepared, but I'm still praying for the paper to be favourable to me. Haha.

I suppose waking up this morning at 630am and reach church in time for the 8am service helped a lot. I almost had second thoughts about not going! Sheesh. Okay. Off to bed to get my healthy dose of 7 hours of sleep.

x


Saturday, June 13, 2009
23:31

In this hectic studying period, what we really need is the maximization of our brains and supernatural forces. How would you be able to memorize every single detail in the text, unless you've had the luxury to read it at least 3-4 times and memorized it at least twice. All I'm asking for is to do decently well to warrant a decent grade on Monday.

Yet, this proposition seems increasingly difficult when
1) I'm tired from the lack of sleep;
2) I haven't had the luxury to memorize;
3) I did badly for the mid-sems that I have to do even better for the finals.
4) It's impossible when its so confusing and I haven't had the intelligence. At least not this sem.

I'm giving up.

-

I can't even look far enough to my birthday to cheer myself up now. So much things to settle. No sleep-in right after my exams. No birthday cake as of yet, cause I've yet to take a look at orders or book it. No car rental cause I just don't know. No nothing.

All the timings just do not coincide this semester. Is it coincidental or incidental? I don't know. Unlike last year, I have no desperate inkling to want to go back to Singapore for the Winter Break, but I'm so indifferent to everything - as usual. It just pisses me off to be like that.

I need to go to church tmrr, even if it means waking up at 630am in the morning.

x


Friday, June 12, 2009
01:20

I don't want to know, I don't want to think.
I just want to charge through this whole thing.

Another day, another time.
Memories soothing, memories provoking.
Ties unbreakable, ties fragile.

At the end of the day, what is what?

-

Alex was really sweet that day, at 3am.
He sent me this text:
"Just have faith in God in the toughest times and he will grant you favour to soar as high as the eagle can fly, and strengthen you as strong as the wind can blow."
Awesome.
He said he felt God nugging him to send this text.

I think I really needed it. Then and now.


Thursday, June 04, 2009
23:36

What is there left- when all is said and done

Despite it all, I still face the difficulty to sleep every night. The harsh reality stares back at me as I look into my blank ceiling. I am determined not to be a liability, but I cant help and think of myself as one. I desperately want to be independent, but I find myself ever so reliant. What is there left for me to do?


Monday, June 01, 2009
02:25

Gran Torino

Watched this movie a few hours back. Absolutely brillant movie by Clint Eastwood. My great expectations did not end up in disappointment, not one bit.

This movie has so many ideas, themes and concepts - and they linked really well.
- Racial differences
- Guilt
- Societal problems - kids & gangs
- Social deficiency (not sure if this is the phrase, but basically, the inability to blend into the society)
- Family problems
- Inheritance
- ........

The 1972 Gran Torino pieced this up to perfection. Coupled with that fact that the movie ended with its hit theme song "Gran Torino" - Clint Eastwood & Jamie Cullum (one of my fave singers).

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The word "love" is said easily and freely. When it comes to the act of forgiveness, people hold back. Even if it is typing the 3 words "I forgive you", people hesistate. People belittle these 3 words. However, I believe that forgiveness is a subset of love, they go hand in hand. In fact, I should rephrase my words. Love is the subset of Forgiveness, because the act of forgiveness is so powerful, the only thing next is Love.

He forgave us. The least we could is to forgive others because who are we to judge? Who are we to choose?
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This has been a topsy turvy of a week. I just wish for more stability and quietness. But my mind wouldn't stop wandering...